Let the Child Be Wise

Parenting without control, living without fear, writing without filter.

Friday, the 21st of February, 2025

Reading this book from Aaron Stupple is the best thing happening to me right now! The best for Seneca, for our family, for Josh, and for me. Thank you for making me realize how important it is to always keep reading and keep discovering new authors and new topics.

Honestly, it is the best book on parenting I ever read. I read a book on feeding our children that aligns with the philosophy of having no limitations or reinforcing roles. We don't like roles. We dislike being under control. We can inspire our kids to be independent. We can encourage them to be good. We cannot force them to become good. They will become good on their own if you give them the chance to express all their emotions. They'll know if it feels right if we let them explore and make their own choices.

Don't forget you are the example. Don’t confuse them with what you tell them to do or not do and what you do yourself. I don't give a shit that you are an adult. Kids are smart. They are aware of manipulation and lies. They will lose confidence in you then. They won't tell you if they feel something is wrong. They'll fear the repercussions of their actions.

We have to be careful with how we treat our kids. I see clearly, and I am enormously grateful for these teachers that come along my way. And they are always writers. Some are my idols. Like Alan Watts, Marcus Aurelius, or even Eckhart Tolle and Jack Kornfield, who are in our times. Wonderful teachers! I learned so much from reading.

And we can really turn every situation into something fun. We can be creative instead of reactive. I am catching myself at many moments now. I learned the essentials in life. I have all the tools, but I still make mistakes. And you know what? I learn from them. This is how I grow wiser. I am loving it.

Life is really a duality. There is always good in the bad, and some bad in the good, no matter what. Black and white. The yin and the yang. We can't be afraid of failure. We learn and then we know what doesn't work. We know what not to do next time. We grow. We always grow as long as we keep trying. We can't give up on our children. They are the future. We are responsible for making a safe world for them to live in. And that passes by being open.

1 year and a half earlier

Tuesday, the 9th of January, 2024

I am blessed. Thanks, life, for giving me all of these moments. I'm always so amazed by my son growth and mine. I know more about psychology, the human mind, our thoughts, and the mistakes we make in life and with our kids now that I have him.

Seneca and his innocence teach me a lot. Show me how to be or not to be. I love him so much, more than I love myself. I used to believe that we naturally love ourselves the most. But no, it's a wrong. We can love more. I am prepared to sacrifice my life for him at any moment. I would die for him, anytime.

I prefer to live now, though… to be able to give him the teaching he needs. A mom and dad are everything. And during these first three years, their influence shapes the rest of his life. Then he’s forging a beautiful character, and until seven years old, he learns to be a man and even gets protective of his mother.

He becomes a little man at the age of eight. So smart, he already reads and writes. He can do anything. He can make anything happen for himself. Responsibilities might start to become a weight on his shoulder. Therefore, he will need to strengthen himself and embrace challenges in his life.

We can fear something happening to our parents if people are dying around us. In the next ten years, he’ll be twelve years old, and people will have been dying in our family. We will feel death closer and closer. And then it is his one parent that will die in their turn, as it is inevitable.

We should prepare for this. I have to teach Seneca the principle of life, to live and die better. I accept whatever happens and take the best of it. We all have the fear of death. We fear death for ourselves, our children, our spouses, and our parents. But we put those fears deep inside us and then we find a way to exteriorize them through our anxieties. There's always something painful to grasp onto.

We just think of the past and future negatively as it comes out of fears and hurt. A child is enthusiastic, forgetful, present, loving, peaceful, alert, sharp, and more. Kids are perfect. So what’s happening to us that makes us fearful and mindless as adults?

I have a good insight today. I often heard people say, “I buy my children toys, but they don't even play with them.” If kids don't play with the toys, it's the parents' fault. We are the ones who have to clean up and rearrange their space. We have to play with them. A toy alone is not relevant. It is the importance we put into the moment and the toy. We need to be with them, helping them to play, to eat, to walk, and to sleep. We have to be there for them and change the battery of their toy when it runs out.

We have to be mindful before complaining.

5 months earlier

Tuesday, the 5th of September, 2023

Keep writing, keep painting, keep meditating, keep drinking water, and keep enjoying whatever the fuck you want, Nelly!

Seneca is comfortably sleeping. I can take this time to reflect, and I have many thoughts concerning death as we are diving deep in the ocean of the doula world with Josh. I see how important storytelling is and how much we can express through words. I am eager to learn more about writing and be inspired by these women's work. We all need a doula. I wish we had one for my cousin Fabrice. We needed one for my grandpa, my dad, and before my grandma died. Even if you believe you are ready, you might not be. I knew my dad would go, but I was not ready for him to leave this fast and this way.

I will live with regret all my life if I don't do my inner work about his death. We must be prepared, as 100% of our family is going to die, including ourselves. Acceptance is our sole option, but we can be prepared. Stoicism and Buddhism can be a great support, and surely writing, reading, and loving are the three best things to do about it.

Wednesday, the 6th of September, 2023

This is the time when we are rolling the dice, and this time we got 77 7s. We need to teach you, Seneca, to take risks as we always do as your parents. You'll be an adult soon enough too. You'll have to take care of yourself, and you will have to take some risks.

I can't believe the day we had. But man, we made it. We got our visas extended for another 30 days in Thailand.

This time it was really close. We first got to the first immigration office that was supposed to close at 3pm, but they let us make the paper, and then they closed before we could apply for the visa.

So we had to run to another place, 45 minutes away, which was also closing. And Seneca already vomited just before we arrived at the first place, and he was still sick on the second ride. It can be a bit difficult to be a passenger of a Thai driver who knows the island like his own pocket. They go very fast and take crazy short cuts.

We traveled to the main immigration office in a different town from our first location in the south of the island. So it cost us more money. We had to make our pictures too, as we forgot the ones we already had. One more additional cost! At the end, we had only a few baht to get back home from our destination. We were an hour away from home. We thought we'd have to negotiate with the driver to take us, even if we couldn't pay to return.

We needed to get home quickly. Seneca was so sick from the drive that he needed to rest and drink water. Poor little guy, he is like me, always vomiting in the transports, and it can be any type of transportation for me. A boat, a train, and a flight can make me vomit my lunch and my dinner from the day before. So the vomit part was very chaotic in the Grab car. I felt sorry for the guy, but he merited it; he drove too fast and badly. There was a reason we were feeling so sick.

So be it. We've done it again! One more month in Phuket, Thailand!